May 2013
liberals smell like dirty feet and bong water /flies away into the sunset on a giant hawk
April 2013
“The conversation between your fingers and someone else’s skin is the most...”
– Iain Thomas (via somethingformyself)
uhhhhhhhhhhhhh:
If anal sex is wrong why does it feel so fucking good
Can your god answer that huh
claydols:
didja know that being openly bitter about being single and bringing people down for being in a happy relationship just makes it less likely that someone will want to date you
desirethemoon:
I find it really hard to criticize someone when I understand/am aware of the reasoning behind their behavior. To be mad, when you know why something exists, is pointless.
nicedad69:
i would do any drug right now
claydols:
tell me that im adorable and that you want to have rough sex against the shower wall (◕‿◕✿)
trillow:
“i’m so tired of fake people!” i scream as i run out of the mannequin factory
viatori:
what if you rubbed a penis and a genie came out
1 tag
thumpingbibles:
bitchtitsagainstcapitalism:
grimybear:
behind every successful man is hundreds of years of privilege
let’s always remember this
lzbth:
if you ever make fun of a girl for having pubic hair i will cultivate an entire pirate beard down there, shave it off, bake it into a cake and watch you eat it
March 2013
tristamateer:
please tell me which part of yourself you hate the most so I know exactly where to plant my lips every time I see you
percypan:
why can’t we all just go and live in animal crossing there’s no economy you don’t have to eat you can sleep for 6 years and people give you stuff for free
chickensandwich:
if you think pubic hair is unnatural and disgusting i suggest you go back to the 7th grade where you belong
kingcheddarxvii:
DON’T TAKE ANY CRAP FROM 12-YEAR-OLDS WHO CRITICIZE YOUR PUNCTUATION
catswithbenefits:
yes hello 911? are you doing anything??? wanna hang out??
methroid:
perez hilton is a despicable human being i want to spit in his eye
snorlaxatives:
collegehumor should change their name to middleschoolboyhumor
tylenold:
instead of saying boner, just say ‘penis blush’ because it pretty much means the same thing and sounds prettier
jakefromstate-farm:
why fall in love when you can fall asleep
slightlyevilcake:
I’m Tamaki Suoh, and this is jackass *drinks the commoner’s coffee*
“goddamn im lookin good”
– me to myself every second of every day (via crumbduck)
nobody is allowed to speak in my presence without a complete notarized form asking for permission
nicedad69:
don’t diss drugs, diss irresponsibility
2 tags
aboutmaleprivilege:
Male privilege is oversexualizing a normal part of a woman’s body to the point where she is punished for wearing a pair of shorts at school. They are legs and they get me where I need to go. I don’t “display” them for your enjoyment, I just made a mistake by assuming that partially exposing an appropriate part of my body on an 80 degree day wouldn’t land me in detention.
February 2013
you are a smelly dog
mydeaddog:
HAHA *PUKES* boys
i either eat nothing or eat everything there is no inbetween
thedeadflagbluesclues:
bodies are just dumb overgrown egg
2 tags
skarbutts:
mom u didn’t like my pic on facebook
katkinkat:
i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful
“The world has a serious shortage of both logic and kindness.”
– Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via larmoyante)
localnativity:
that’s not dandruff falling out of my hair it’s cocaine
2 tags
grimegod:
*spanks you with my face*
cosmo tip #600
expertcosmotips:
if he thinks rape jokes are funny go on a romantic boat ride with him and leave him in the middle of the fucking ocean to die
westcovst:
roses are red violets are blue i’m using my hand but thinking of you
